Saturday, May 5, 2007
Prayers
Please keep Juan Carlos and I in your prayers. Los Pinos of Lacey (the restaurant where Juan Carlos works) was sold today, and we still don't know what will happen with his job. I have applied to several jobs at Seattle University and Central Washington University and I'm planning to apply for a couple jobs at Pierce College, but the future is uncertain and it's difficult for us right now. I know that in these times more than anything I need to cling to faith and trust in God- again, that's easier said than done. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Gandhi Said
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi
Before I forget, I wanted to post a story that came up in my conflict transformation class last week. We were talking about non-violent conflict intervention and Gandhi's movement in India. Our teacher told us this story:
During Gandhi's days of leadership in India, there was a woman who had a five year old son, who was diabetic. Try as she would, she could not convince him to stop eating sweets. She tried scolding, pleading, punishing, rewarding and nothing worked. So, she took him to Gandhi. Gandhi spent 30 seconds talking to the boy. He told the mother to bring her son back in two weeks. She returned in two weeks crying because finally the little boy had completely given up eating sweets. She wanted to know what Gandhi could have possibly said to her son to convince him to give up sweets. He said that all he did was say, "I am going to give up sweets- will you join me?"
Our teacher then went on to tell us about a time he had used this method in his own family to try to get his uncle to stop smoking. He invited everyone in the family to give up something to affirm the life of his uncle. Some of his relatives gave up smoking themselves and invited him to join them. My teacher's nephew was very bullied in school, which is a widespread problem in Japan, often leading to suicides. His nephew was bullied so much that he was on the verge of suicide himself. When invited to participate in this life affirming process, his nephew told his grandfather, "If you stop smoking, I will keep going to school and never give up." Our teacher told us that although his uncle did not give up smoking, many other lives were saved and protected in the process of extending this invitation to affirm life.
These stories for me speak to the importance of inviting others and engaging with others. What strikes me most about Gandhi's work was that he didn't tell the Indian people what they should do. He led by example and invited others to join him. You get the feeling watching documentaries on him that he would have done the salt march alone if he had to, but invitations compel people toward action on a much deeper level than commands do. Next time I want someone in my life to change their behavior in some way, I will attempt to influence them through an invitation which engages and affirms, rather than by complaining, scolding, or begging, which tends to distance others. I think this really speaks to the attitude of us together rather than that of you and me as separate and independent beings. Like the metaphor of the body, if the finger is hurt or infected, you don't just ignore it, because ultimately it will affect the rest of the body or you will lose the use of this important body part. We should pay most attention to those parts of the body that are most needy, if we truly want to live as one body in Christ, as we claim to.
Before I forget, I wanted to post a story that came up in my conflict transformation class last week. We were talking about non-violent conflict intervention and Gandhi's movement in India. Our teacher told us this story:
During Gandhi's days of leadership in India, there was a woman who had a five year old son, who was diabetic. Try as she would, she could not convince him to stop eating sweets. She tried scolding, pleading, punishing, rewarding and nothing worked. So, she took him to Gandhi. Gandhi spent 30 seconds talking to the boy. He told the mother to bring her son back in two weeks. She returned in two weeks crying because finally the little boy had completely given up eating sweets. She wanted to know what Gandhi could have possibly said to her son to convince him to give up sweets. He said that all he did was say, "I am going to give up sweets- will you join me?"
Our teacher then went on to tell us about a time he had used this method in his own family to try to get his uncle to stop smoking. He invited everyone in the family to give up something to affirm the life of his uncle. Some of his relatives gave up smoking themselves and invited him to join them. My teacher's nephew was very bullied in school, which is a widespread problem in Japan, often leading to suicides. His nephew was bullied so much that he was on the verge of suicide himself. When invited to participate in this life affirming process, his nephew told his grandfather, "If you stop smoking, I will keep going to school and never give up." Our teacher told us that although his uncle did not give up smoking, many other lives were saved and protected in the process of extending this invitation to affirm life.
These stories for me speak to the importance of inviting others and engaging with others. What strikes me most about Gandhi's work was that he didn't tell the Indian people what they should do. He led by example and invited others to join him. You get the feeling watching documentaries on him that he would have done the salt march alone if he had to, but invitations compel people toward action on a much deeper level than commands do. Next time I want someone in my life to change their behavior in some way, I will attempt to influence them through an invitation which engages and affirms, rather than by complaining, scolding, or begging, which tends to distance others. I think this really speaks to the attitude of us together rather than that of you and me as separate and independent beings. Like the metaphor of the body, if the finger is hurt or infected, you don't just ignore it, because ultimately it will affect the rest of the body or you will lose the use of this important body part. We should pay most attention to those parts of the body that are most needy, if we truly want to live as one body in Christ, as we claim to.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Where I'm At
I am in a strange place right now, where I feel both excitement and anxiety about closing this chapter of my life and entering a new one. It's fascinating to me all the different paths the different people in my life choose to take. At this age, everyone is doing something different, from traveling all over the world to entering the Peace Corps to settling down. Having always had the tendency to compare myself to others, I find myself with mixed feelings about what I feel I should do, what I want to do and where I'm going. I am learning to find security in places unbeknownst to the world. I am trying to find happiness in loving the people in my life and having that be enough for now, knowing that jobs and houses and reservations and marriage plans, and everything else, will all ultimately fall into place.
I found out recently that the job I accepted at CIELO is undergoing some funding changes. Because of anticipated expenses this fall, as well as the loans I need to start paying off, I feel the need to find consistent work. At the same time, I don't want to abandon a community I care about and work my heart calls me to. I felt before like I had so many leads- now I feel I've been put back at square one, wondering where I'll work next, where I'll live, who my friends will be, where I'll find support. I can't know it right now. I can't know any of it. And I hate that part. I'm going home in a couple of weeks, with seemingly nothing to show for my efforts at grad school and hours of job searching. Part of me wants to cry and then another part of me stops it and says I just need to have faith- that sometimes it's not about who you will be when you grow up, but who you are right now. Maybe it's not about tomorrow or the next day or where I'll live or what I'll do in October, but about what I'm doing today, right now.
Right now, all I know is that I'm in love. I'm in love with Juan Carlos and I want to spend my life with him, whatever that means. I'm in love with my family and grateful for their constant love and support, for their reminders that things will be ok. And I'm in love with God and His teaching and His people and His creation. I am so grateful for the gift of life- in all its disappointments and all its surprises that await me. My intention for the rest of my time here is just to be present- to stop thinking so much about tomorrow and the day after that... to stop planning details that will inevitably change and just to find comfort and joy in the connections I make with people, in the conversations, in trying to see and understand others for who they are. It's those moments in life in which we are really truly present that we can learn the most about ourselves and where we really want our lives to take us...
I found out recently that the job I accepted at CIELO is undergoing some funding changes. Because of anticipated expenses this fall, as well as the loans I need to start paying off, I feel the need to find consistent work. At the same time, I don't want to abandon a community I care about and work my heart calls me to. I felt before like I had so many leads- now I feel I've been put back at square one, wondering where I'll work next, where I'll live, who my friends will be, where I'll find support. I can't know it right now. I can't know any of it. And I hate that part. I'm going home in a couple of weeks, with seemingly nothing to show for my efforts at grad school and hours of job searching. Part of me wants to cry and then another part of me stops it and says I just need to have faith- that sometimes it's not about who you will be when you grow up, but who you are right now. Maybe it's not about tomorrow or the next day or where I'll live or what I'll do in October, but about what I'm doing today, right now.
Right now, all I know is that I'm in love. I'm in love with Juan Carlos and I want to spend my life with him, whatever that means. I'm in love with my family and grateful for their constant love and support, for their reminders that things will be ok. And I'm in love with God and His teaching and His people and His creation. I am so grateful for the gift of life- in all its disappointments and all its surprises that await me. My intention for the rest of my time here is just to be present- to stop thinking so much about tomorrow and the day after that... to stop planning details that will inevitably change and just to find comfort and joy in the connections I make with people, in the conversations, in trying to see and understand others for who they are. It's those moments in life in which we are really truly present that we can learn the most about ourselves and where we really want our lives to take us...
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