Cycles of Love

"As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love...My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:9-12

I have learned often about how cycles of violence and hatred perpetuate themselves, how children who are abused often end up abusing others or how children witnessing violent or destructive behavior often end up behaving in violent or destructive ways. It never ceases to amaze me the impact that parents can have on their children. Of course, there are always cases of children who break the cycle but the odds are so stacked against them, even early on, that the cycle has a great tendency to continue.

A cycle less talked about but equally powerful, I believe, is that of love. When I think of how much compassion has been awakened in me through my life, I immediately think of my mother and the example she has set for me. When I think of my desire to help others or work on behalf of others, or when I recognize myself loving people just for who they are- not because of what language they speak or how they look or what they're capable of doing, my mother always comes to mind.

If a car is parked on the side of the freeway, my mom is the kind of person who stops and gets out to help and make sure everything is ok, while a hundred other cars drive by. She's the kind of person who volunteers to do everything from accounting to uniform sorting to support those she loves and help organizations continue work she believes in. She is a second mother to youth that don't find the support or discipline they seek at home. All through high school and college my friends and my sisters' friends have come to my mom for guidance, advice, support, or a good conversation. She's incredibly approachable and people tend to her trust her and be able to joke with her right away (even when they don't speak English). She is joy-filled and inspirational. She believes in people and the goodness of people and it's something striking to be around.

I can feel my mother's love for me and for all those in her life and I know that her influence has made me a more loving person. I guess that's what makes me believe so strongly in this cycle of love. When you are filled up with love, you can so much more easily share that love with other people, filling them. I was thinking in mass today that my mom probably learned a lot about how to love from my grandma and she from her mother. Since love is not always about what feels good, but about making certain choices and commitments, it's something that most people need an example in. I'm lucky I haven't had to go any further than my own home.

On this Mother's Day, I just want to thank my mother and my grandmother and my great grandmother up in heaven for choosing love and for perpetuating a cycle of love in their families. God knows we can all certainly use more love in this world. Thank you for leading me closer to grace.